I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
