the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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