I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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