Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
