I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
