Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Is Oprah even human
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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