When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
