I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
