the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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