There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Randomize
