Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
