shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
