words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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