Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
