Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
