I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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