I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
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