I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Randomize
