I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
