3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
