Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
