watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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