College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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