I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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