Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
