Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize
