Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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