he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
