"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
