he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
