I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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