Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
