i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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