One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
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