I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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