Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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