Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
