before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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