I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
