Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Can i not drive my cunt home
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
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