she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
