I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
