When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
