4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
