i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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