thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
