No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
