so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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