4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
