Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
