There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize
